Personality

Dumb Disguise

It is not hard to find a mammal who thinks and speaks with a sense no more than that of a hare. All you have to do is find someone who dresses like Pistachio Disguisey, the principal character in the movie The Master of Disguise. And if you are still wondering who that is, check out the Senate of the Republic of the Philippines. Look for someone who answers to the name Ana Consuelo (a.k.a. Jamby) Madrigal. It is Dumb and Dumber disguised as a senator.

Jamby takes a lot of pride in her lineage -- her maternal grandfather was Chief Justice Jose Abad Santos, granduncle was 1930s assemblyman Pedro Abad Santos. Her paternal grandfather was Senator Vicente Madrigal of Albay; her aunt, Pacita Madrigal-Gonzalez, was a senator during the Quezon and Magsaysay administrations and was the first administrator of the Social Welfare Administration.

But one look at her talking to reporters on television, one hearing of her asking questions in the Senate, and you see the product of "genetic fatigue" -- you know, the farther you go down the family tree the lesser amount of grey matter you’ll find.

If you will just check, for instance, Jamby’s Friendster profile, you’ll find the following: She is interested in "Friends"; her occupation is "Politician" (sic); her hobbies and interests are "To serve our people"; her favorite books, "Women Ahead…"(By the way, there’s no book titled Women Ahead. There’s one called Women Ahead of Their Time, which is, well, not a biography but a bibliography—a simple listing—of the names of women authors. Reading it is like reading the telephone directory so you can very well imagine how much intelligence you can get if this is your favorite book.); and she claims, "We are a family in public services" (sic).

So let us look at some transcripts of the Senate proceedings on the nationally televised ZTE-NBN investigation to get a glimpse of what lies between her ears.

On February 18, when some discussion was made on the supposed "secret meeting" she and Sen. Ping Lacson had with Lozada and CHED chief Romulo Neri here are excerpts:

JAMBY: "First of all, I would like to put in context the date of that meeting and also ask Mr. Lozada certain questions. December 7 to me has three great significances at the moment. It was, as President Roosevelt said, a date that will live in infamy. 1941, it was the bombing of Pearl Harbor. It is also the date of my wedding and also the date of the notorious secret meeting na hindi na secret ngayon."

She went on to ask Lozada about the so-called patriotic money for Neri and folowed it up with the following comments after denying that she even offered to put up money in exchange for Neri’s testimony:

JAMBY:"Kasi siguro nagkakamali silang mag-approach sa isang Madrigal sapagkat may mga Madrigal pong kuripot. Alam ni Jun yan kasi taga-Bicol kami. Kuripot kami kaya tinatawanan ako dito sa Senado na yung aking baro Monday to Thursday parati akong nagre-repeat. Hindi na ako makabili ng mga baro. Yung handbag ko, dadalawa lang, hindi ako nagpapalit araw-araw. At yung sapatos ko may butas. Kaya yung inaakala nyo pong yung patriotic money or concealed inducement to testify and manggagaling sa akin, nagkakamali po kayo."

And then she went on to ask Lozada about the lifestyle of Neri, questions to which obviously, Lozada had no answers.

Earlier in the hearing on that day, Jamby explained to the committee her reason for filing a case against the alleged abductors of Lozada. And she read her sworn complaint affidavit:

JAMBY: "Mr. Chairman, I just want to read, for the record of the Senate, the reasons I cited in my affidavit for filing the case since it’s being invoked by those who did not appear today. It is not a very long complaint affidavit. I, MA. ANA CONSUELO MADRIGAL, of legal age, married, Filipino, with office address at Room 510, Senate of the Philippines, GSIS Building, CCP Complex, Pasay City, after being duly sworn in accordance with law hereby depose and state that what brought down President Richard Nixon was not any involvement in planning the burglary of the Democratic National Committee Watergate offices but his efforts while president to obstruct the investigation of that crime."

(Wow!!! She knew that for a fact and she was witness to the fall of Nixon and the Watergate??? Wonder how old she was in 1972. And she put that in a sworn affidavit? Even a first-year law student would know better than to put such statement in an affidavit.)

credits:

photos by Rudy Rabulan